It can be difficult to know what to say when you believe someone is experiencing domestic abuse. You may want them to leave immediately or report what is happening, but pressure can sometimes make a person feel that more control is being taken away.
Listen without judgement
Give the person space to talk if they want to. Avoid blaming them or asking why they have stayed. Domestic abuse can involve fear, coercive control, financial dependence, housing, children and many other barriers.
Avoid confronting the abusive person
Direct confrontation can increase risk. If there is immediate danger, call 999. Otherwise, consider specialist information about how to support safely.
Ask what would help
Useful support may include helping someone contact a specialist service from a safe device, providing transport or simply remaining a consistent source of support.
Respect safe-contact preferences
Do not send messages about domestic abuse if the person’s phone or accounts may be monitored. Ask what method and time of contact is safe.
Pathway can provide general information and practical support and signpost to specialist services where needed.